Saturday 26th November 2011

Hi all, as you probably know from my whingy posts on fb that I have been struggling for the best part of a month with either my mental or physical health or both! I will really try to keep my blog up to date so you don't give up on me and my journey.  Thanks again for all your support, I would not been able to do it without you all.  Much love xxx

Wednesday 16th November 2011

The diet

Breakfast - Toast and yogurt
Snack - Banana
Lunch -

This morning I have had more than normal for breakfast but this is to try and combat the munchies from having morphine. I am still very hungry but I am sure I can now wait for a couple of hours til snack time!

I can't believe how difficult it is trying to eat regularly when I am in so much pain.  Really wish instead of just handing out pain killers that they would treat the problem instead of just masking it! Hey ho we all know what its like and I should be grateful that I get the help I do.

Everyone have a nice day and I'll be back later!  TTFN

I'm back and on morphine so may or may not make sense! Stevie made me a lovely tea of chicken with peppers and onions and some pasta. Mmm he is lovely to me, I am so lucky to have such a good man!

Anyway think this is all I am capable of today so bye for now and see you tomorrow xxx

Monday 14th November 2011

The diet

Breakfast - Pear
Snack -
Lunch -

Well its the start of a new week and I am certain that things are going to go well this week!!!  I want to try and leave all the negativity around me all behind.  Need to get a few things in my head clear, it is obvious that I am carrying around alot of excess baggage and I need to get rid of this because I know it is holding me back.   I am not just talking about my past, cause I do think that I have been able to bury alot of that in the past few months and no longer have nightmares about certain things and people.  I need to deal with the here and now, find out what is not good for me and ditch it.

I know I talk about it alot, but I can't deal with lies, yes I understand sometimes we have to bend the truth to save people feelings, but I am talking about big whopping lies, the ones that hurt people badly and then the worst of it being told lies by someone who can't remember their lies, never mind the truth!!! I must admit life is a mystery to me.

Saturday 12th November 2011

Friday 11th November 2011

The diet

Breakfast - Pear
Snack - Pear
Lunch - Four crackerbreads with chilli cheese spread
Snack - jelly sugar free
Dinner - chicken breast fillet with onions, peppers and fajita spice

Now, had a problem with following the diet today as I had my fruit but when I went to make my salad I found my last pack of sliced beef had been eaten grrr! Could have had tuna or salmon but to be honest don't think I could have stomached fish! So i had some cracker breads with some chilli cheese spread.  Steve then made me for tea chicken breast with onions and peppers, really nice with fajita spice!

So another successful day even though some git pinched my beef!

Thursday 10th November 2011- Lottie's birthday yay!

Right I have managed today to not have any extra morphine so hopefully the diet today will go a bit more smoothly!  Just had a pear and looking forward to my salad at tea time

Well I am pleased to report that even though the diet has not been good I have still managed to lose 2 and a half pounds! This is great news for me because really thought I would have piled weight on because of the lack of routine and the fact that I do have the munchies with the morphine. I am not going to get complacent about it though, I really need to knuckle down and get my ass into gear if I am going to get to my goal of losing 3 stone by the end of December! Thanks to those of you that haven't given up on me <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Wednesday 9th November 2011

The Diet

Breakfast - Banana
Snack -
Lunch - Brunch
Dinner - Moussaka

The day started well, I had my banana then the pains started but I wanted to try and go without the morphine today. I managed to sleep a bit more then went meet Steve for lunch. We went to Asda cafe and I had a breakfast brunch, not very diety I hear you say but to be honest the done is limited and I wouldn't have it again!  After I got home the pain got worse, so I tried the hot water bottle for a bit but in the end I had to have the morphine! So the Diet didn't go well and I had moussaka and salad, it was tasty but fattening!

I am hopefully going to try and get weighed tomorrow, I am scared that I will have put all my weight back on eek,  although I shouldn't have it is my biggest fear.  I really hate being ill cause it makes everything so hard! Will fill you in  tomorrow on how the weigh in goes!

Tuesday 8th November 2011

Well another day of morphine so diet gone to pot yet again. Lets hope tomorrow is a better day! Need to lose so much weight and I feel totally robbed at the moment!

Monday 7th November 2011

Well I promised today I would be back on track but unfortunately I have not been well with my Intercostal Neuralgia so been morphined up that I have been in bed all day. Steve was annoyed with me for going for a shower after taking my meds that he made me promise to stay in bed where he knew I was safe! I am not good at walking when dosed up and tend to walk into things so I know why he worries. So diet not possible today, but tomorrow is another day, so fingers crossed everything ok so I can continue by epic journey to fabulousness!

Sunday 6th November 2011

Normal blogging will resume tomorrow, i apologise for the lack of content over the past week or so, but we are back on track in the morning. The weigh ins will continue every week again starting tomorrow. I will be able to tell you if I have put anything on, stayed the same or lost since my last weigh in two weeks ago.

I really would like your continued support, but I really have been mentally not well and it hit a peak on Friday night. I will not let this happen again and will ask for help (professionally) if I continue to go downhill.

Please continue to comment or use the tick boxes just as a tool to let me I'm not alone.

Thank you everyone who has not given up on me. There will be times where my illness will take over, but I will fight back everything.

Sending loads of love and hugs to all my family and friends following my journey xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Saturday 5th November 2011

The Diet

Breakfast
S

Thursday 3rd November 2011

The Diet

Breakfast - Banana
Snack - Big piece of Ross's birthday cake :((((((((((((((((
Lunch -

Well I have had to cancel my interview at Royal Derby because I am in too much pain to attend.  There is no way I could do an half hour audio typing test in this state and if I take painkillers then I wouldn't be able to get there at all!!!!!  What a complete waste of space I am!!!!  My mind and body are giving up on me spectacularly!!! I don't blame you if you stop following my blog, who wants to listen to all this drivel coming out of my mouth - or in this case finger tips.  All I want is a little 12 hour a week job, so I have contact with people other than over the internet, so I can act like I am normal for a bit and for people to actually learn to like me - honestly I can be so kind when I am not a self hating loser bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night I got into trouble for something I could not control and basically was not aware of - on top of everything else this has broken the last piece of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday 2nd November 2011

The diet

Breakfast - Banana

Snack - Pear

Lunch -

Snack -

Dinner -

Snack -

For those of you that predicted my failure, I feel like I have proved you right.  I am in such a dark place at the moment, I am barely about to function, never mind look after myself.  I apologise to anyone who is following me,  I don't mean to let you down - me I am not bothered about, but I do rely strongly to your support - how selfish am I?????????

Tuesday 1st November 2011 - Ross' birthday

The diet