Well its three weeks post op and I am going to admit to you that I am finding this process very very very difficult! I don't seem to be able to move onto lumpy food at all and I am finding this very distressing. Although I still have not been physically sick I am constantly feeling it after trying food!
Now is the time that I knocked the liquid/
pureed diet on the head and introduced lumpy food. I have now been trying this since Thursday with not good results. Within a couple of very small mouthfuls I am finding that the food is stuck in my throat and won't budge. I am not allowed to drink with food and have to wait half an hour after eating before having a drink. All this is very frustrating to say the least as I have no control and I can't help myself!
Today is the first day I have cried about it, I really think that I have been strong knowing that this was not an easy option and I did this for the right reasons, but boy, I could murder a bacon butty right now lol! I am also thinking about very sugar foods, but since I have no proper appetite I do believe this is all psychological - I admit to feeling sorry for myself at the moment, normally at this point I would comfort eat, but obviously this isn't an option so my brain has decided to torture me instead!
My pain that I suffer from my Intercostal Neuralgia has only got worse since my operation and I need my morphine more often but I am hoping this is because of the actual op cause lets face it the surgeons don't appear to be that gentle with us lol!
Life is bearable, but its incredibly hard, food was a very important part of my life and I've almost given it up! I used to love to go out with Steve and the kids for meals, not only was it about food but it was a time we all got together
and talked and laughed. That part of my life feels over and I feel sad about that! I know the dieticians say I will be able to eat more or less normally eventually just on a far smaller scale, but because I am facing such difficulty at the moment it does feel like nothing will be right again! I wanted all this blog to be uplifting and inspiring, but lets face it life is not like that all the time. So I do apologise for being grumpy but if I can't be honest on this blog would it be worth doing or reading? I hope you are still with me on this journey, your comments help alot, so don't stay quiet, say what you think. Sending big hugs and love to all of you xxx
Hang in there babe. Your doing really well. Love ya xx
ReplyDeletehey nicki , im still here & with you on your journey sweetpea .. keep it up and i know you will get there , like you say you always knew it wasnt gonna be easy. you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself hun .... as long as you have family & friends & belief you can get through this journey xxxx rosie xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteRight then Mrs H first of all your doing great ! it seems to me that you have set yourself such high expectations and goals that you dont realise just how well you are doing . You can still enjoy meals out with your family and friends and have a laugh and a good chat but in time . Take a step back and think about all you have achieved in the past months and be just as proud of yourself as we all are of you . Its not going to be a walk in the park , its going to be hard work and with determination you will do it , this is just a hurdle . You have an amazing husband and children who are 100% behind you as well as mum and pops .Keep smiling and remember no matter what you need there is someone there who is proud of you and thinks the world of you and will be there in a heartbeat . Love ya chick Mrs T xxx
ReplyDeletehi nicki i think you are doing so well,you are allowed to have days when you feel like this then you will comeback strong again it will happen.you have lots of great friends and family to help you on your journey,you are stronger than you think.keep positive and strong.fluffy hugsme and bella.xxxxxx
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