The diet
Breakfast - Banana
Snack - Peach
Lunch - Cajun Chicken with salad and half a jacket potato
Snack - Peach
Dinner -Ham salad
Snack - Peach
Well I'm in a lot of pain today, but have lots to do and we have the niece and nephew coming to stay tonight, so have to get lots of goodies in for them. Must say I had a better nights sleep last night even though it was hot, thank goodness for our fan, don't know how I would sleep without it!!!
Went to Tesco today to get myself weighed, up to date I have lost just over 15lbs in 18 days. So it shows that the weight loss has slowed down a bit, but thats not a problem. I go to to hospital on Tuesday and I do think they will be amazed at how well I have done, think they are expecting me to fail!!!!
I have come to a decision, well I think I have lol. To be honest I am fed up with the divide within the family, not on my side, we are all ok, but the other side isn't!!! For years we have been exculded from family things, mostly because we had small children and that I was not really what they decided was good marriage material for their son!!! Since the kids have grown up we have been included in more things, but also there have been moments that I have had to keep quiet over things that have unsettled me. Now I had to keep quiet to save other peoples feelings, but no one thought about mine. Anyway this was taken out of my hands when we were completely ignored last Christmas - this broke my Steve's heart - but as we had actually done nothing wrong, we did not make the effort back anymore, now this has been going on for 10 months and it is getting silly. We have now been excluded from a family wedding, why???? I don't know as we have done nothing, or said nothing to get us excluded, this can only have happened by certain family members stirring things.
Now, me and Steve keep to ourselves, we do not impose on anyone - never have, never just turned up with the kids and made anyone feel awkward, we accepted the way everyone felt and got on with life. But then people expect you to change, just cause it suits them - I have never been able to conform to other peoples thinkings. I am ill and have been for 18 years, I no longer make excuses for my illness or how it makes me behave sometimes. People who love me, accept my quirkiness, those who don't. don't and ignore me!!! this is fair enough, but don't start making things difficult with others, that is not necessary!!! The cousin who's wedding is today is lovely and so is her now husband, I have never ever insulted them or done anything infact and neither has Steve!!!!
So, anyway the point of this rant, is that I have decided, like my past life, I want to leave it there in the past. All this is upsetting Steve and I don't want that. He is a strong man and will not apologise for something he hasn't done - I can't blame him for this, but I think I need to do something to make all this right again, or as right as possible. I know I will be the blame of everything thats gone wrong, but I am easy to blame as none of these people really know who I am. The thing is I just don't pretend to be something I am not unlike some others I can mention. So I need to decide what to do - any ideas??????
Breakfast - Banana
Snack - Peach
Lunch - Cajun Chicken with salad and half a jacket potato
Snack - Peach
Dinner -Ham salad
Snack - Peach
Well I'm in a lot of pain today, but have lots to do and we have the niece and nephew coming to stay tonight, so have to get lots of goodies in for them. Must say I had a better nights sleep last night even though it was hot, thank goodness for our fan, don't know how I would sleep without it!!!
Went to Tesco today to get myself weighed, up to date I have lost just over 15lbs in 18 days. So it shows that the weight loss has slowed down a bit, but thats not a problem. I go to to hospital on Tuesday and I do think they will be amazed at how well I have done, think they are expecting me to fail!!!!
I have come to a decision, well I think I have lol. To be honest I am fed up with the divide within the family, not on my side, we are all ok, but the other side isn't!!! For years we have been exculded from family things, mostly because we had small children and that I was not really what they decided was good marriage material for their son!!! Since the kids have grown up we have been included in more things, but also there have been moments that I have had to keep quiet over things that have unsettled me. Now I had to keep quiet to save other peoples feelings, but no one thought about mine. Anyway this was taken out of my hands when we were completely ignored last Christmas - this broke my Steve's heart - but as we had actually done nothing wrong, we did not make the effort back anymore, now this has been going on for 10 months and it is getting silly. We have now been excluded from a family wedding, why???? I don't know as we have done nothing, or said nothing to get us excluded, this can only have happened by certain family members stirring things.
Now, me and Steve keep to ourselves, we do not impose on anyone - never have, never just turned up with the kids and made anyone feel awkward, we accepted the way everyone felt and got on with life. But then people expect you to change, just cause it suits them - I have never been able to conform to other peoples thinkings. I am ill and have been for 18 years, I no longer make excuses for my illness or how it makes me behave sometimes. People who love me, accept my quirkiness, those who don't. don't and ignore me!!! this is fair enough, but don't start making things difficult with others, that is not necessary!!! The cousin who's wedding is today is lovely and so is her now husband, I have never ever insulted them or done anything infact and neither has Steve!!!!
So, anyway the point of this rant, is that I have decided, like my past life, I want to leave it there in the past. All this is upsetting Steve and I don't want that. He is a strong man and will not apologise for something he hasn't done - I can't blame him for this, but I think I need to do something to make all this right again, or as right as possible. I know I will be the blame of everything thats gone wrong, but I am easy to blame as none of these people really know who I am. The thing is I just don't pretend to be something I am not unlike some others I can mention. So I need to decide what to do - any ideas??????
nicki you really are a amazing person and you should never have to make excuses to anyone , or explain to anyone that doesnt understand your illness or your way of life .... all i can say it is their loss honey , i certainly would love to be part of your family ..like you say people should accept you for who you are.. and i love your humor and quirkiness.... you have a amazing family & hubby .....xxxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rosie, you can be in my famly anytime, you are so lovely!!!! Sending you loads of love xxxxx
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