Ok, well I have started this blog four days into my diet, so bear with me and I will let you know exactly what I have been up to for these days that will be missing.
It all started when I visited the hospital to see my dietitian J on Tuesday 13th September 2011. I had put on even more weight and I felt dreadful. At this point I more or less demanded that she help me by giving me a structured diet to follow, perhaps thinking back I should have done this in the first place, she isn't a mind reader so had no idea what I really needed to give me a kick start. J then happily fetched me a copy of a diet, that I am assured, if stuck to, will work!!! I was so pleased with this result and happily made an appointment for three weeks time to show J that I could do it!!! Changing my sleeping habits is going to be difficult too as I like to sleep most of the day, as I find it lonely being home on my own all day, although the cats do occupy me when they like lol!!!
Now I have to confess that the same evening I had made arrangements to go out for tea with T, and to be honest I wanted to have a lovely blow out before I had to resign myself to a life of misery (or so I thought anyway, I am one to be dramatic!!!). So T and I went for an Indian and I had a wonderful chicken tikka masala that went down a treat. So anyway, because I had had the Indian I decided that that night was going to be the first of not having any chocolate! It was ok, woke a few times, but think the Indian had filled me so much I could get back to sleep - success, my first night of no chocolate. (Ohh for anybody that doesn't know me reading this, I never eat chocolate in the day, it is a night time thing for me).
So we start on day one of my diet (Wednesday), which was quite uneventful, I was amazed that because I knew what I was going to eat it was alot easier to get my head round. Now part of my illness is not really looking after myself and so eating in the day before this diet was not really an option for me and I would wait for Steve to get home to decide what I was going to eat and then let him prepare it - like I said, saint!!!! I would like to say that day one was SUCCESSFUL!!!
Now I wish I could say the same for the night - boy was it hard. So I am usually up four or five times in the night to eat chocolate - copious amounts, sometimes I would nod off and I would wake up when I dropped the chocolate and then I would carry on, I would often wake up with melted chocolate all over my body!! So even though I have meds to help me relax at night, this was not enough to help the withdrawal, but I stayed with it and just took more meds - don't worry though not enough to do any damage.
Day two (Thursday) up early and again I took it in my stride and ate everything that I was supposed to ( I will put a copy of the diet sheet on here for reference) and thought I had done pretty well again, did have to go to bed early though because I was feeling very low and agitated. This night was worse than the night before, I thought I was dying, or is that hoping? I was so depressed and agitated it was frightening, again my meds helped out here.
Day three (Friday), up early again - wow this is beginning to become a habit!!! Well the morning was ok and still sticking with the diet! Then after lunchtime I took a turn and was feeling really out of it and shaky, I knew I had to go to sleep. I went back to bed for a couple of hours and woke up in time for tea!!! The evening was a little tough and kept talking about chocolate to Steve, but we kept saying how glad I will be when I see the weight coming off. Again an early night as not feeling too good, but the night was better than the last, I woke a couple of times, but managed to get back to sleep without the aid of anymore meds.
Day four (Saturday), woke up early again. Still sticking to the diet. Having a nice day with Steve, he is painting the living room whilst I am doing this blog, seems fair to me lol!! Today seems easier than the rest, but I must not rest on my laurals!!! I have successfully managed another day in paradise lol!!! Yes its still hard, but I feel I can now put day four to rest. Fingers crossed for a good nights sleep!!
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