Tuesday 27th September 2011 - Praying for a better day!!!

As usual the diet first -

Breakfast - Banana
Snack - Nectarine
Lunch - Ham Salad
Snack - Yogurt
Dinner -
Snack -

Morning all, I am now really praying for a better day.  I have been really really low now for quite a few days.  Everything has lost its meaning at the moment and everything seems pointless, but I am forcing myself to stick to the diet, saying that I don't feel the need to do anything else!!!!  I am not thinking about nice food or cheating because it all seems pointless.  I have nothing to look forward to and my life just seems really hard.  I will come back later and hopefully I will have something interesting tio write about.  Bye for now!!!

Well I am back, still feeling really crap, but hey ho nothing I can do about it!!!  Just been thinking about the job interview I went for last week, still not heard anything, so I am assuming that I haven't got it.  Its a real shame because I would have really liked it and it would, I am sure given me some confidence back.  I am sick of feeling like a loser.  I really thought 18 years ago when I got ill, it wouldn't last long and then after what I had experienced, I would make the most of life and enjoy myself - oh boy how wrong was I!!!!  I know this is the first step to changing my life, but as much as I hope it will, I know weight loss is not the miracle I am looking for - saying this I am not giving up on the diet!!!  Oh no it has taken me too long to get into this mindset and I am not going to throw it away!!!  Well it looks like I will be continuing with the job hunting, but how often do 12 hour a week jobs come along????

Its my day to be weighed again, so fingers crossed that it is still working and keeping it at a 1lb loss per day.  I must admit the diet has played havoc with my bowels, but I suppose with such a radical change in diet it is to be expected.  One more week to go before my next dietitian appointment, I think she is going to be shocked - lets hope so, as I have worked hard on this!!!!!!!!!!!

On a really cheery note, Steve has booked a week off, the second week in October.  I have today received my date for my scan (at last) and as I have quite a few hospital appointments that week including Physio, Psychiatrist, plus Job Centre and now scan, it is less stressful when I already know someone is coming with me and I don't have to make arrangements with lots of people!!!

Will report later on my weight!!!!  Bye for now!!!

As promised my weight loss up to date is 13.5lbs - yay nearly one stone!!!